


Rescue Me

by angelsandcastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Alternate Universe - No Monsters, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Basically the opposite of Supernatural, Bullying, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mary Winchester died during child birth, More characters as I write, Multi, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Rating May Change, Slow Build, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2040192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsandcastiel/pseuds/angelsandcastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is spending his summer in the least pleasant way he can think of. He's sitting under an umbrella in his swim trunks and reading his library books. Most teens like sitting by the pool, but it was never Castiel's idea of a good time... because he never learned how to swim. </p><p>Castiel's bully, Uriel, frequents the pool also. What happens when Uriel pushes Castiel in the pool? Will the amazingly attractive lifeguard come to his rescue? Or will Castiel sink to the depths of the cement pool?</p><p>A teenage AU (with characters in high school and some in college). Featuring Lifeguard!Dean... :)</p><p>P.S. - The rating may change, depending on where the story goes. There's a bit of swearing in there and a bit of adult topics, so you've been warned!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sink or Swim

Castiel sighed for the millionth time in a row. Summers in Lawrence were always boring. He had nothing to do. There were no deadlines because he had no classes. He had no deadlines. He wasn't trying to speed read his history book for an exam or finish up his calculus homework. He was literally doing nothing except breathing at the moment.

It was as if everything slowed down to a snail's pace. Every hour felt like days.

He had only left school two weeks ago! He groaned. How did other kids even enjoy summer?

He flipped the page in his book. He was miserable. As if being bored for two months wasn't miserable enough, he was dragged to the community pool almost every day because his brothers loved it so much.

"Cas, are you coming in?"

Cas glanced up from his book to see his older brother, Gabriel, standing next to him. His dirty blonde hair was long and fell like dreadlocks down the side of his head. His goofy smile lit up his face. Cas couldn't help but smile in response.

"Not today."

He scoffed, "But Cas," he said as he sat in a chair, "There are so many good looking guys!"

"Gabriel!" he whispered. He still regretted coming out to Gabriel last year. He never stopped looking for a boyfriend for Castiel. Ever. It was intolerable. "I can see people just fine from outside of the pool."

He rolled his eyes as Gabriel gestured over his shoulder, "Look over there. Those two."

Castiel glanced over towards the diving board of the pool. He saw two guys, standing in their swimsuits, having what looked like an argument. The taller of the two with dark brown and long hair was gesturing between the two of them. Castiel's eyes slid over to the shorter guy in the bright red board shorts. He closed the book in his hands.

 _Holy shit_ , he thought as he stared at the muscular guy with the strange tattoo on his chest. He looked a little bit older than most of the teenagers at the pool. He held a clipboard in one hand and had a whistle hanging around his neck. He couldn't make out what they were talking about but it seemed pretty heated.

Gabriel laughed, "I knew it. Anyways, I think we should go introduce ourselves."

"What?" Castiel shook his head, "No!" and he looked down at his book. Which page was he on again? He groaned as he dropped it into his lap.

"Cas, you're going to be alone for the rest of your life if you don't put yourself out there."

"I'm at the pool. How much more 'out there' can I get?"

He scoffed, "And look how well that's going for you."

Just then, Castiel noticed a girl with long blonde hair walking towards them. It was almost a shame that Cas didn't swing that way because she was every straight man's dream girl. She was absolutely beautiful. It was almost like she absorbed sunshine and radiated it out from her heart. Cas shook his head. He had definitely been reading too many books lately.

"Hi."

"Hey," Castiel responded.

"I'm Joanna Harvelle, but everyone calls me Jo," she said as she flicked her hair over her shoulder. Even her name was gorgeous. Castiel could appreciate a woman's beauty, for sure, but still, he couldn't find himself attracted to her... in that manner. She seemed pleasant.

"Castiel Novak," he said, offering her his hand to shake.

She took it in her smaller hand and shook it hard. She squeezed it in a death grip. Castiel swallowed down a groan as he pulled his hand away.

"Do you mind putting some sunscreen on my back for me?"

"Uh," he glanced at Gabriel, who had been rendered speechless, "Yeah, sure," Castiel said as he put his book down on the table.

He noticed her hands shaking as she handed him the bottle of sunscreen. He plucked it from her fingers and squeezed some out onto his hand and began to massage it into her back. Hopefully, she wouldn't get the wrong idea about him.

"Sorry, it's just, I know you're the only guy here that won't try to feel me up," she whispered.

That made Castiel huff out a laugh, "I'm not _that_ obvious."

"Oh no, definitely not. The way you were staring at Dean wasn't a complete giveaway or anything."

"Dean?"

"Winchester? The head lifeguard? The one with the whistle around his neck?" she said as she pulled her hair away from her back.

Castiel put some more sunscreen on his hand and rubbed it into her neck, "Oh. Him."

She giggled, "Anyways, thanks for helping me out, Castiel."

"You're welcome, Jo," he said with a big smile on his face. He pulled his Raybans down from the top of his head.

"Do you mind if I leave my stuff here?"

"Not at all."

"Alright, well I'm going for a dip!" she said as she dropped her shorts to the ground. She chucked them on top of her bag before walking down the pool deck. Castiel couldn't help but watch as she walked away. Her hair was so beautiful. He just wanted to touch it. That's one thing he did miss about dating girls. The long and soft hair. He sighed as he dropped back down onto his seat next to Gabriel.

"What the hell was that?"

Castiel shrugged as he picked up his book again.

"Why do you get all the hot girls?" Gabriel groaned as he slapped his head against the table.

Cas ignored his brother's comment and flipped pages in his book.

"Whatever, I'm going in. See ya, bro," Gabriel said as he stood up and jumped straight into the bright blue pool water.

Cas shook his head. He flopped his book onto the table. It was hopeless. He wouldn't be able to read. He was too distracted by his own mind.

His eyes darted around until they landed on Dean Winchester. Just his name was enough to make Castiel squirm in his seat. Now that he was thinking about it, he knew Dean Winchester. He was a senior last year at Lawrence High. He was the same age as Gabriel, probably. But Gabriel didn't know anyone from Lawrence High because he was at a reform school for the last three years and only returned to Lawrence for the summer. After that, he'd be off to college. Was Dean going to college too?

Dean's brother was a senior this year, like Castiel. He'd seen the kid lurking around the library during lunch. His name was... Sam!

He watched as Dean smiled brightly at his older sister, Anna. He was probably interested in her. Cas stood up from his chair and pulled his shirt over his head.

He glanced down at his body and smiled. Those months of waking up early to jog around town had paid off. His stomach was the same flat board that it always had been, but now he could see his muscles were more defined. He looked good. He grinned as he kicked off his sandals and walked up to the edge of the pool. He looked better than he ever had and he felt better than ever. He glanced towards Dean and noticed the lifeguard's eyes on him. He managed a weak smile before reverting his attention towards the pool.

He gulped as he stared into the clear blue water. Hopefully, no one would discover his secret. The real reason why he hated going to the pool and the beach. It wasn't because he was ashamed of the way he looked in his bathing suit, or worrying about sand getting in between his toes. His real fear was that he would drown.

_Cas couldn't swim._

He sat down on his butt at the edge of the pool and dipped both his feet into the water. It was a little deeper than he originally thought it would be and he noticed the water hit his leg in the middle of his calf. He swished his feet back and forth in the water.

"Well, if it isn't Nerd-stiel! Who would have thought you'd show your face at the watering hole!"

He stopped moving his feet. He knew that voice from anywhere. Wasn't Uriel supposed to be working this summer?

Castiel turned his head and next to him were a pair of dark brown feet. Maybe if he didn't look at Uriel, he'd go away? He glanced away from the feet and stared into the depths of the pool. The water wavered from the other teens swimming around inside of it.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," Uriel said as he kicked Castiel in the side. He groaned as he glanced around. There were teens everywhere. Did anyone see what was happening? Would anyone notice? He put his hand over his side.

"What is it, Uriel? Don't you have better things to do?"

He heard the thunderous laugh behind him, "Castiel, Castiel. Don't you understand? Bothering you is the most exciting part of my day."

He felt Uriel grab him by the hair and pull his head back. Castiel let out a small yelp of pain.

"You're an abomination. God will make you suffer for your sins," Uriel spat onto his shoulder.

And before he knew it, he was in the water. He flailed and kicked his arms as he tried to swim up to the surface. It was no use. He never learned how to swim and, well, now was certainly not the best time to figure it out. He held his breath as long as he could until he just needed to breathe air. Did anyone notice that he was underwater for far too long? What would they tell his parents? The fear of drowning made his heart beat skyrocket. He panicked. He needed air!

He gulped in the heavily chlorinated pool water. As his lungs stopped functioning, his vision went completely black.


	2. Floating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a Supernatural "Which Character Are You" quiz and I ended up getting Dean. Shocking, right? Not at all. Anyways, here's some more stuff for you to read :D! Adios.

Castiel's eyes flew wide open and he felt water come back up his throat. Gross. That chlorinated water didn't taste good, either way. He glanced around and noticed people crowding around him. To his left, he saw Jo, smiling with her face covered in tears. Next to her was Gabriel, looking concerned but relieved. And to his right, he saw the one and only Dean Winchester.

His eyes went around Dean's face, noticing that he had a spray of freckles all around his nose. His bright green eyes were clouded with concern stared back at Castiel. He was breathing hard. What the hell happened? Did Dean save him? He felt a calloused hand gripping his bicep. A thumb rubbed circles on his skin. He wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep with that thumb on his arm. Unfortunately, he was in the middle of a pool deck, not on his bed. It wasn't happening.

"Hey, guys, back off, give him some space!" He saw Dean shout at the crowd.

"Are you okay, Cas?" Gabe asked first.

He nodded, not bothering to look away from Dean's face. It was hard to look away. The guy was basically a human version of Adonis. How could he look away? He wasn't just incredibly handsome. He was a different sort of handsome. It was alluring.

He noticed Dean's Adam's apple bob up and down.

"Seriously, Castiel, what were you doing? What were you thinking?" Jo said as she wrapped her arms around his torso, "I was so scared."

Dean shifted away from Castiel. He broke the intense staring contest that they were having.  Castiel wrapped one arm around Jo's upper torso and hugged her back, still staring at Dean. It was awkward because, obviously, he had just met Jo. Maybe she was just a very concerned new friend?

"I slipped. It was an accident," he said.

"Sure," Dean grumbled.

Castiel's eyebrows furrowed as he let go of Jo and looked at Dean. What was his problem?

"So, you're alright, I don't have to call an ambulance, right?" Dean said as he got to his feet. He had his clipboard in hand and flipped through a bunch of papers. He began scribbling stuff furiously with a pen. His eyes moved across the paper as he wrote.

"He's fine. Thanks, Dean," Jo said as she helped Castiel up onto his feet. The crowd had dispersed a while ago and people were back in the pool, being rowdy.

"I think you should let the guy speak for himself," Dean said as he kept writing, "Alright, Castiel?"

"Y-yes."

Dean didn't look up from the papers he was scribbling on, "Castiel, what's your last name?"

"Novak," Castiel coughed a little. His whole mouth still tasted like chlorine. His back also was burning. It was like he had been dragged across rough cement. It was probably from scraping the bottom of the pool or something.

"Okay," Dean said. He stopped writing rather abruptly and flipped his clipboard around. He held the pen out to Castiel, "Just sign on the line. It's a waiver that says that you didn't want me to call an ambulance. But, if you feel like you need a trip to the hospital, I would recommend that you didn't sign it. I can still call an ambulance."

Castiel shook his head, "That won't be necessary," he took the pen from Dean's hand and scribbled his name on the line.

"Great. And Castiel?"

Castiel felt his body become just a little warmer, "Yeah?"

Dean raised his brows as he leaned a little closer to Castiel, "Accident, my ass," Dean grumbled. He snatched the pen out of Cas' hands and stormed off. Castiel watched as Dean tore his way from one side of the pool to the other.

"No running on the freaking pool deck!" he shouted at a group of teenage girls. They were definitely doing that on purpose. Last Castiel had checked, most teenage girls walked at two speeds: slow or slower. They giggled as they slowed down and one of them even went as far as waving at Dean. Even when he was angry, he was attractive. Ridiculous.

Castiel scoffed and crossed his arms across his chest. His mind was still on Dean. What an ass, he thought. Who was he to say that it wasn't an accident? Was he even paying attention when Castiel had fallen in?

"Jesus, don't do that again, Castiel!" Gabriel said as he clapped his brother on the back, "Although, you probably missed the best part of your whole accident when Dean pulled you out of the water and did mouth to mouth on you."

Castiel's eyes went wide, "What?"

Jo laughed, "I saw it with my own eyes."

Castiel rolled his eyes, "That's how you save someone's life after they drown. You have to get them breathing again. Seriously, could you guys be any more immature?"

Gabriel and Jo burst out laughing.

"Come on, let's get home. I think we've had enough of the pool for one day," Gabriel said as he picked up Cas' book and his backpack.

And, as Cas walked away from the pool deck, he couldn't help but ghost his fingers over his slightly chapped lips. He had basically kissed an incredibly attractive man and he didn't even remember it because he was out cold. He groaned as he put his hand down by his side and followed Gabriel out into the parking lot. It was just his luck that would be his first kiss. Did it really count as that though?

* * *

 

Castiel sighed as he ran his fingers through his damp hair again. It had been a rough day.

"Castiel, what happened to you, you look like someone hit you with a truck," his dad said as he placed the warm apple pie on the table. The Novak boys were gathered around the table. To his left sat Gabriel, Lucifer, and Michael. To his right sat Balthazar, who technically wasn't his brother, but he was still considered family, in a way. His father plopped down next to Balthazar.

"Well?" his father said.

"I - uh. Gabriel and I went to the pool..."

"And we swam a lot. It was a workout," Gabriel finished. He threw a wink at Cas before stealing a plate of pie.

Cas took his plate of warm pie and just stared at it. He usually liked pie but he was just so exhausted that he really couldn't care less about eating it. His thoughts kept wandering back towards the tan lifeguard with the bright green eyes that saved his life. Did he really put his lips against Castiel's? Or was that just Gabriel and Jo's sick version of a joke? He groaned as he pushed the pie away from himself.

"Are you gonna eat that?" Gabriel said as he grabbed the plate away from Castiel.

Cas stood up and left the table. He walked upstairs and straight into his room. He shut the door and locked it behind him. He pulled his iPhone from his pocket and there was a whole lot of nothing on the screen. Awesome. It was official. Castiel had no friends. He was fairly certain that news got around the gossip mill pretty quickly in Lawrence.

Castiel sighed and put his phone on his bed side table. He pulled his shirt off over his head and yanked his pants off. He stood in his boxers, staring at the bed. He was so exhausted, he could feel his eyes closing on him. He barely managed to get under his sheets before his eyes shut and his brain turned off.

* * *

 

And then, it was Tuesday. Of course, no one knows the importance of a Tuesday in the Novak family. Tuesday means pool day. Castiel groaned as Michael dragged him from his car towards the fenced in pool.

"Can't I just wait in the car?" Castiel said, rather childishly. He didn't want to be caught dead around that pool. Not after the mishap yesterday. Everyone would remember it and make fun of him for it. The worst part of the whole situation is that he would be in the same area as Dean. The green eyed, freckle dusted, freaking gorgeous man. He slapped himself in the face and let out a moan.

Just then, Michael whipped around and stared at Castiel.

"Castiel, I don't understand what happened yesterday and I won't pretend to. It doesn't matter. Whatever happened, you need to get over it. Today is a new day. Life goes on," he said.

Well, Castiel thought, he did have a point there.

He followed his oldest brother towards a set of chairs where both of his brothers, Gabriel and Lucifer were sitting. Next to Lucifer sat his best friend, Balthazar.

"Finally!" Balthazar said as he jumped out of his seat, throwing his arms around Castiel, "It took you long enough!"

It was no secret that Balthazar had a slight crush on him. Castiel never was all that interested in Balthazar. He had a hard time dealing with his overbearing personality and cries for attention.

He wiggled out of Balthazar's hug. He glanced across the pool deck and noticed a very familiar lifeguard staring right at him. Dean looked down at his clipboard, breaking eye contact.

Castiel couldn't take his eyes off Dean as he read over something on that stupid clipboard. Instead of the red trunks he wore yesterday, Dean was decked out in a pair of white board shorts with a red shirt that read "lifeguard". Dean stopped writing and looked right up at Cas. He looked away and joined the conversation at the table. He sat down in a chair and pulled his book out of Gabriel's backpack.

"I'm going in," Lucifer sang as he stood up and walked over to the edge of the pool only a few feet away. He jumped right into the water with a small splash. All the other boys followed him in until Cas was alone at the table.

He heard a chair scrape as someone pulled out a chair. He looked up from his book and Dean was sitting right across from him. He had a pair of highly reflective aviators on. He didn't say anything as he flipped through his clipboard. But then, he stopped. It was like something mystical happened. He put the clipboard down on the table.

"How are you feeling?"

Cas looked back down at his book before mumbling back to Dean.

"Fine."

"Look, Cas," he said, "I can't be worried about you not knowing how to swim if you're going to sit right next to the damn pool. What if I have the day off the next time you decide to let someone push you in?"

"I-"

"No. No lame excuses. You need to learn how to swim."

He rolled his eyes, "I've done fine for the past seventeen years of my life."

Dean shook his head, "Fine. You want to do this the hard way? That's okay with me. Take lessons or I will personally escort your ass off this property."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You're a liability."

"Oh, obviously. Do you do this to every other person at this pool? Force them into taking swimming lessons?"

He laughed. Dean's hoarse and dry laugh made Castiel smirk. If he wasn't so pissed off at Dean, he would have probably laughed along. He placed his book on top of the table.

"That," Dean smirked, "was a good one. I know most of the kids around here can swim. I taught them myself. You? I've never seen you in the water until yesterday when I had to pull you from the bottom of the pool. If that isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is."

"I don't have money for lessons."

Dean picked his clipboard up from the table, "You don't have to pay me," he grumbled.

"What?"

"Fuck, are you shitting me? I'm trying to do you a favor."

Cas squirmed. Dean certainly had a way with words.

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."

"Will you at least think about it? If not for me, for Jo or something," he spat as he stood up. He scribbled something on his clipboard and ripped it off, putting it inside the cover of Castiel's book. He held his clipboard by his side as he stared at Cas. "It would give her some peace of mind. Then she wouldn't have to call me at midnight and wake me up to complain that you wouldn't pick up your damn phone."

 _Oh._ Castiel inhaled. Jo and Dean were closer friends than he thought they were - a whole lot closer.

"Just don't break her heart or, I swear to God, you'll wake up in a hole that's eight feet long and two feet wide, buried under six feet of dirt and worms," The fire in Dean's tone was clear as day and burned Castiel right down to his core. He had never felt so raw or exposed in his life. It's not like he even liked Jo, but the way that Dean had said it... well, it certainly made him feel awful.

With that comment, Dean stormed off to the other side of the pool, where the diving board was. He watched as Dean picked the whistle off his chest and put it between his lips, blowing through it.

"No splashing," Dean said as he continued walking around the pool.

The more that Castiel thought about it, the more he realized that he should just take some lessons. It's not like it would hurt him, right? Dean wouldn't let him drown. He knew that much from yesterday's little experience.

He still had to think about it a bit more before he would decide.


	3. The Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing like a crazed idiot right now. No edits... Enjoy.

Castiel hopped over the fence of the closed pool. He tiptoed his way towards the dark looking water and waited patiently. He had made his choice - Did Dean? He shifted as he pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it onto a nearby chair. Hopefully, he'd show up... otherwise, Castiel would look like an idiot. Standing in front of a dark pool at 9PM on a Tuesday night without a shirt on was probably the most idiotic thing he'd done in a long time. Well, if you didn't include the near death experience of drowning.

Just then, a light in the pool went on, illuminating the water with a weird green tint.

He watched as Dean walked across the pool deck and picked up a long pole with a net at the end. He watched as Dean skimmed some bugs and grass out of the pool.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean jumped a mile, dropping the pool rod.

"Castiel!" he squeaked, quickly trying to catch the sinking pole in his hands, "Jesus, could you not do that?" He caught the pole and started skimming the surface again.

"Do what?"

Dean shook his head, "Never mind. Glad you made a decision."

"Me too."

"Alright, well. Get in the shallow end. I'll join you in a second. I just have to check on some things," Dean's voice carried across the vacant pool. He pulled the cleaning net out of the water and hung it back up along the fence. He turned back to the pool and flopped down on his ass. Cas couldn't help but stare at Dean. There wasn't much else happening. He watched as Dean pulled out some test strips from his hoodie pocket. He dipped them all into the water for a second and pulled them out.

Castiel stood on the first step. He was in the water. That was a step in the right direction.

"Jeez, it's not like there are sharks inside. My mother can get in the water faster than you can."

"Really?"

Dean shrugged, "She's dead. I wouldn't know."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's okay. I didn't really know her. She died giving birth to Sam," Dean said as he stripped off his hoodie.

That was just like Cas' mother. She died giving birth to him. Castiel refocused his attention on the water. He stepped down another step. One more to go and then he would be in the shallow end. How shallow was shallow? It looked pretty deep. The world started to spin as he stared into the depths of the water.

"Don't worry. I'll be with you the whole time. Take another step in."

He took the final step and Castiel was up past his waist in water. On the bright side, he was all the way into the pool.

"Good," Dean said as he joined Castiel, "Alright, now, we're going to start at the very basics. I'm going to give you this floatie, okay? And I just want you to put all your weight onto it. You'll float. I swear," Dean said as he flopped the long rectangular floatie into the water. It was the red lifeguard floatie.

Cas stared at the foreign object.

"Come on, Cas," Dean said, nudging him with his elbow, "You've made it this far."

Castiel nodded as he wrapped his arms around the floatie. It was either now or never. Cas held his breath as he let himself sink into the water. He fought the urge to flail his limbs wildly. He wouldn't drown. He would be okay. Dean was right there if anything happened.

"Good!" Dean said. He watched as Dean walked through the water and crossed the width of the pool.

"Now, Kick your legs and try to get yourself over here."

Cas nodded and gripped the floatie tightly in his arms. He kicked his feet in every direction.

"Try to kick up and down. Sideways isn't going to help," Dean shouted over the splashes.

So Castiel moved his legs up and down. He was going faster, headed right for Dean.

"That's it."

Castiel moved closer and closer to Dean until he felt two warm hands on his shoulders, "Perfect," he whispered, "You're a natural, Cas."

That's when Castiel noticed something. He was so close to Dean. If he just was an inch or two closer, he could kiss Dean's lips. His eyes moved to those soft looking lips. God, they looked so soft. He silently wished he could remember that moment when Dean's lips touched his. Was Dean thinking about the same thing? He wouldn't ever be able to know. Cas looked into Dean's green eyes before staring off into the distance at the diving board.

"Uh," Dean said, "Right," he retracted his hands and stood up in the water, "Just keep kicking around in the water for a while. I have to go, uh, add some chemicals to the pool. Yeah," Dean said as he walked over to the steps and got out of the pool.

Castiel exhaled a breath that he didn't even realize he had been holding. Was that Dean's way of rejecting him? Castiel shook his head. He didn't even know if Dean was attracted to men. He could just be a straight guy that had no idea what he was doing (you'd be surprised how many times it _actually_ happened). Whatever Castiel was feeling, he knew it was unrequited. Dean wasn't the romantic type, that's for damn sure. Castiel had seen him with a new girlfriend almost every week in the last school year.

Dean wasn't interested.

Castiel kicked his legs back and forth in the luke-warm water. He channeled all his pent-up anger towards the world into the water. His feet slapped against it aggressively. He kicked and kicked. All that kicking propelled him around the shallow end a few times. Why did he have to crush on Dean Winchester? Of all the men in the world, could he have picked a match any _worse_ than Dean? Probably not.

He heaved breaths in and out as he finally came to a stop.

He realized in that exact moment that he was completely screwed.

"Thank God," he mumbled sarcastically as he stopped moving.

His eyes caught movement outside of the pool. Dean was back. Instead of his board shorts, his legs were covered in ripped denim jeans. He wore a grey henley on his torso. Great, Castiel thought, just great.

"How's it going?" Dean said as he hauled a container over to the edge of the shallow end.

"Fine."

He nodded as he poured the open container into the pool, "Cool. How about we pick up with this tomorrow? Same time?"

"Fine."

Dean stopped pouring and raised his brow at Castiel, "What?"

"Nothing," Castiel said as he exited the pool with the red floatie in tow, "I was just thinking that maybe this isn't a good idea."

Dean placed the bottle on the edge of the pool and stared into Castiel's eyes. They didn't say anything for a few seconds, which was kind of awkward, but neither of them noticed.

"What the hell are you talking about? Has the chlorine gone to your brain?" Dean scratched his exposed arm, "What's the worst that could happen?"

Castiel tugged at his short hair, "I could drown, Dean!"

"You already did that once this week."

"Well, I could do it again!"

Dean crossed his arms over his chest, "Now hold on a second. Cas, you're the one who said you wanted to do this."

"You forced me into it."

Dean sighed, "Whatever, man. It's late. You need a ride home?"

Cas shook his head, "Jo is waiting for me."

Dean didn't respond. Castiel dropped the floatation device onto the pool deck and walked over to the chair and grabbed his towel. He dried off quickly and tugged his shirt back on over his head.

Screw you, Dean, he thought as he put his flip flops back on his feet. He walked out of the pool area and right towards Jo who was waiting in her beat up pickup truck. He pulled open the door and got into the stupid truck.

"How'd it go?"

Castiel slammed the door, "Fine."

"Oh? Really?" Jo said as she put the car in drive.

"Yeah, maybe you should hit his car on the way out."

Jo laughed, "Will you pay for the damages?"

"No."

"Maybe next time," she said with a small wink. They drove off from the parking lot.

* * *

 Castiel stayed away from the pool the next day. He didn't want to see Dean. He just didn't. So, in order to take his mind off things, he decided to have a movie day. And, as it turned out, it was a pretty dreary day. It had been pouring for the last three and a half hours.

"Are you thinking Spinal Tap, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Ghostbusters?"

"Whatever you want, Gabe," Cas said as he flopped down on the couch. He pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and laid against a pillow. He just didn't care. Why should he care?

"Ghostbusters," Gabe said as he popped the DVD into the DVD player.

Gabe flopped on the other couch.

"What's eating you?"

Castiel flipped his hood off his head, "Nothing, Nothing. I was just thinking too hard."

"Don't give yourself an aneurysm, kiddo," he said, "Is it about last night?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Cut the shit. I saw you sneaking out."

"How?"

"Uh, duh, I was sneaking out too. Didn't you hear about Ash's party? He invited everyone under the sun! Dude, he even had Twizzlers AND Twix. Seriously, bro, you missed out."

"Oh. Yeah, I was just going to hang out with Jo."

"I saw Jo at the party," Gabriel said.

"Uh, yeah, we didn't hang out until after. I, uh, I was at the library and I had to renew my books."

"At eight on a Tuesday night? Isn't the library closed?"

"Ugh!" Castiel shouted, "Fine, I was with Dean."

"Dean? Dean... Lifeguard, Dean? _That_ Dean?"

"Yeah."

Gabriel smirked as he bit into a chocolate bar, "So, what were you doing with Dean saved-your-life Winchester yesterday night? Huh? Were you making out with him? Under the stars?"

"I wish," Castiel mumbled, "No. It wasn't like that."

"What _was_ it like?"

"Could you just drop it?"

Gabriel shrugged, "I... just... thought I was your best friend... and all."

"You're my brother."

"Are you saying we're not best friends?"

"No, I'm just pointing out the fact that we're also brothers."

Gabriel shook his head, "Whatever, bro."

The movie started and the two of them remained silent. They'd both seen Ghostbusters about ten times in their lives and yet, they still couldn't quote the whole movie word for word.

The doorbell chimed.

"I'll get it," Cas said, hopping to his feet. He shuffled towards the door. His heart beat a little bit faster. Who could be at the door?

He pulled it open and saw Jo, drenched in water from head to toe. She shivered.

"My c-car broke d-down," she said, pointing out to the street. Surely enough, a few hundred feet from Castiel's driveway was Jo's red pickup truck. It was just sitting in the middle of the road with the lights flashing, "Could you maybe help me move it out of the street?"

"Gabriel!" Cas shouted around the door, "Come on, we need to get Jo's car out of the road."

* * *

 

Castiel pushed against the back of the pick up again, willing it to move forward. He fell down into the mud for the tenth time in a row. Damn pick up. He groaned as he scrambled back onto his feet. The roar of a car overpowered his ears and it slowed down next to him. The black Impala. The window rolled down.

"You guys okay?" Dean shouted out the window.

"Jo's car broke down. We're just pushing it into the driveway," Cas said. He could feel the rain pounding against his head. He was cold and drenched... and miserable. He wasn't really miserable about pushing the pick up. He was miserable over Dean. Stupid Dean. Why did he have to show up?

Dean rolled up his window.

Was he just going to drive off?

That's when he killed the engine and popped out of the driver's side of the car. He got up next to Castiel and glanced at him.

"Push!" Dean shouted.

The thunder roared off in the distance as the two pushed the pickup. Gabriel and Jo were both up at the front, with Jo behind the wheel. Gabriel was sitting in the warmth of the cab with her.

Cas slipped again and fell into the mud.

"Fuck," he heard, "Cas, you okay?"

"Huh?"

"Cas?"

"Yeah," Cas said as he tried to get up out of the mud. It was too slippery though. He fell flat on his chest again.

He felt two warm hands slide under his armpits and lift him from the mud. Thank the Lord, he thought. His feet were miraculously beneath him again. He was upright. The hands retreated and Dean appeared in his vision again. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, steadying him.

"You good?"

"Yeah."

Dean nodded, glancing back at the truck. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.

"It's only another hundred feet. I got it from here. Why don't you go inside and get warm, okay?" Dean said with a tight smile. He moved his thumb back and forth gently on Cas' shoulder. But then, almost as if he were scalded by hot water, Dean pulled his hand away and turned back to the truck. He pushed it forward.

Cas just stood there.

"O-okay," he said to Dean's back. He then made his way towards his house and walked up the steps. He opened the door and stepped into the warmth of the house.


	4. Sammy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dog is really sick... so... I'm sorry if my updates get a little slower! I'll try to update as frequently as possible! SORRY <3! (I might still be able to do daily updates - we'll see how things go). 
> 
> Also, this chapter is a little bit shorter than the last two (about the same length as the first chapter). It took me a little less than 7 to read it over, so for the average reader, that's about 8ish minutes. Let me know what you think, leave comments!

Castiel stood at the front window, waiting with towels and some dry clothes for Dean and Jo. The rain had let up quite a bit since he had come inside. suddenly, the garage door opened and in came Jo, with Gabriel not far behind, and a completely drenched Dean. Castiel averted his eyes. Dean's clothes were stuck to him like cling wrap on a burrito - it left nothing to imagination, really. 

He handed Jo a towel and a set of clothes.

"Shower is upstairs. First door on the left," he said to her. She nodded and bolted up the stairs. He flopped a towel at Gabriel as he passed by. And, finally, when he reached Dean, he held out a towel and clothes for him. 

He couldn't look at Dean, "There's another shower in the basement. Follow me."

Dean slipped off his wet and squeaky sandals on the doormat and followed Cas down the open door by the garage. They entered the basement. 

Cas led him through the basement entertainment room and to the small bathroom. The only reason they had the basement finished was because of Castiel's grandmother. She didn't live to see her new apartment. It was completed a month or two after she passed away. So, they converted the space from a small apartment into a larger entertainment area with a small storm shelter. They left the bathroom just the same though. It would be too expensive to convert it into anything else.

Cas stopped by the open door and turned around.

"Thanks for coming by and helping with Jo's car. That was really nice of you," Castiel said to Dean, not daring to look up from his hands. He put them together and twisted them back and forth. 

"Not a big deal. You're welcome."

Dean slipped by Castiel and stood in the bathroom. He placed the towel and folded clothes on top of the sink. 

Cas looked up from his hands to see Dean staring at him. 

"So... are you coming in with me?" 

Dean let out a soft laugh. 

Did he really want Cas to join him? Or was that a joke? _Be cool, Cas. Don't freak out. Be casual._ "I - uh - no!" Castiel could feel his cheeks warm up as he moved away from the door, "I already had one?" _Wow. How very casual._

Dean clutched his stomach. Castiel had never heard a more musical laugh in his life. It filled the basement with a joyous ringing sound. Dean doubled over with laughter.

"Yeah, keep laughing, pretty boy," Cas said as he pulled the door closed.

He could still hear laughing through the wooden door. Ridiculous.

Cas walked back up the stairs just as the doorbell rang. _Who could that be?_ He walked towards the door and opened it up.

There was the tall man standing at the door, who looked rather similar to Dean. In fact, Cas could remember him from the pool. Dean's brother? How did he know-

"Hey, I saw Dean's car outside. Everything okay?" The tall kid hollered over the wind outside.

Jeez, it looked awful outside, Cas thought as he stared past the guy.

"Jo's pickup broke down and Dean came by to help."

"Ah, okay. Oh, I'm Sam, by the way. Sam Winchester," he said, offering his hand to Castiel.

"Castiel Novak."

"Oh," Sam's eyes opened wider, " _Oh_."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just the way Dean was talking about you... It's nothing. Don't worry about it. So, where's Dean?"

"Taking a shower."

"Oh," Sam said, "Do you mind if I come in? I was walking home from the library when this weather started to pick up again. I think Dean forgot about me. He does that sometimes."

"Bitch," Cas heard. He nearly jumped a mile. Where the hell did Dean come from? He shook his head.

"Jerk," A smug Sam grinned in return, "Did you forget to do something today?"

Cas turned to look at Dean. His eyes nearly fell out of his head. Dean clearly had a rough time fitting into the clothes Cas had given him. The sweatpants and the hoodie were two sizes too big. He watched as Dean shifted on his bare feet. Cas' ears pricked up, hearing the sound of loud tapping against the window. _Is that hail?!_

"What?"

"You look ridiculous," Sam blurted and started roaring with laughter.

The freckles on Dean's face couldn't even hide the blush that erupted across his skin. He was as red as a cherry tomato. He tugged nervously at the hem of the shirt.

"Dean. I'm sorry. Those were the warmest clothes I could find in our house."

"Cas," he clapped his friend on the shoulder, shaking it a little, "It's amazing. I don't even own a pair of sweat pants. I have  _got_ to get some of these sometime.  Oh, and I have my wet clothes-"

"Do you want me to wash them?"

Dean shrugged, "I was just going to ask for a bag and then bring them back to my house. I gotta do laundry tonight anyways."

Cas felt his heart beat a little bit faster. He didn't really want Dean to leave though. He couldn't exactly force him to stay at his house, though. **_SNAP, SNAP, CRACK, THUD!_** The house shook for less than a second.

"The hell was that?" Dean said as he shoved Sam out of the way of the door. He opened the front door up and gasped.

"I don't think we'll be going anywhere for a while, guys," he said as he pointed at the tree that clearly blocked the entrance to the house.

"Holy shit!" Sam yelped.

"You guys do know that there are multiple doors and ways to get out of this house, right?"

"Oh. Yeah, yeah," Dean nodded, brushing off some invisible lint on his shoulder, "Yeah, I knew that."

So, the three boys rushed to the garage. Sure enough, When Sam and Dean lifted the door, it was also covered by huge trees. There was no way of moving those trees without using a saw to cut through them. The trees all had to be at least a hundred years old. They were about the size of a DVD player in their diameters. Even if all the boys banded together and threw their weight into the trees, they wouldn't budge.

They ran around the entire house. They looked through every door and window that Cas could think of on the first floor. They were all blocked. Even the hatchway of the basement wouldn't budge open.

"Shit," they panted as they returned to the front hallway.

Sam flicked his hair away from his face with his hand. "Wait, do you guys have any saws?"

Cas cringed.

"What?" Dean asked.

"See, that's the problem. We keep our tools out in the shed... in the backyard."

"Fuck."

"Yeah... so, how about I wash those clothes for you?" Cas said.

Just as he spoke the words, the lights went out. Gabriel and Jo came running from upstairs and met up with everyone else in the front hallway of the house. Ugh, Castiel thought, I guess my wish was granted. He glanced over at Dean.

"Dean," Jo threw her arms around him, "I'm so glad you're here," she released him from the hug and threw a wink Castiel's way.

Dean cleared his throat, "So, what the hell just happened?"

"It must have been a microburst," Sam said, shaking his head.

"In English, Sam."

"Okay, so get this, a microburst is kind of like a tornado. A tornado has winds that swirl. A microburst has winds that come straight down from the clouds in a line. So, instead of leaving a swirled pattern on a grassy field, it'll leave damage in straight lines. We're just lucky that none of those trees hit the house."

"Shit," Dean said, nodding his head.

"Are you a weather guy or something?" Gabriel questioned.

Sam shrugged, "Library."

"Okay, Cas, you're going to run upstairs and grab all the flashlights and candles you can find before the sun sets, so we won't waste our cell phone batteries. Jo, call your mom and tell her you're alright. Gabriel, you-"

"Wait a second there, Dean-o. Who the hell put you in charge?"

No one said anything.

"That's what I thought."

Dean walked over to Gabriel and grabbed him by his shirt, "Do you want to be in charge?" he growled at Gabriel.

Gabriel shrugged, "I was just saying."

Dean released his grip on his shirt, "That's what I fucking thought. Gabriel, call the rest of your family and make sure they're okay. Tell your dad about the situation. Sam, you're going to call Bobby and work out the sleeping arrangements. Castiel will help you figure it out. Jo gets her own bed. No exceptions. I'm going to try to get something cooked.  Sound good?"

The four other teens nodded.

"Let's get going then."

* * *

Castiel looked at Sam's sleeping arrangement chart and he didn't like it... at all.

"We can't have two tall guys sleeping in the same bed, Castiel. I'd sleep next to Dean, but we both wouldn't fit on the same bed."

Cas shifted on his feet, "So, why can't I sleep with you and Dean with Gabriel?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Did you see them fighting just then?"

He did have a point there. Dean and Gabriel just wouldn't be able to tolerate being next to each other. Castiel couldn't exactly blame Dean for it. Gabriel's personality could be a bit... abrasive and annoying at times

"Fine."

"Do you really have a problem sleeping next to Dean? There are only three beds."

"Uh, well. There's always the couch?"

"I might have to use it... I'm not sure about Gabriel and I," Sam said, scratching the back of his neck, "I've got nothing against the guy. It's just. I don't know him that well. I don't know if it'll work."

"Fair enough," Cas said.

They walked downstairs to the TV room. Dean was passed out on the couch with his hair going all sorts of different directions. Jo was on the floor under a blanket. Gabriel was curled up on the rocking chair in a blanket, swinging back and forth.

"I guess everyone else is exhausted," Sam said, "Probably time to wake them up and get them upstairs."

Sam put his arms under Jo's body and lifted her with ease. He cradled her to his chest and turned, disappearing from the room.

Cas walked over to Gabriel and lightly shook his shoulder.

"Huh?" Gabriel said, bolting awake.

"Go up to your room."

He nodded sleepily and made his way out of the room.

Then, it was just Castiel and Dean.

Castiel placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, lightly shaking him in the same manner that he did with Gabriel. The only problem was that Dean wouldn't wake up. Cas shook harder. That earned him a moan from Dean, but not much else.

"Dammit, wake up," Cas swore as he poked Dean's face with his finger.

Dean's hand went up and he swatted at Castiel.

"Are you awake?"

Dean didn't respond.

Castiel turned on a flashlight and pointed it directly into Dean's face.

"Argh, what?" Dean said.

"Come on, I'm bringing you to bed."

Dean wriggled his eyebrows, "Are you really? Listen here, hotshot, I don't sleep with anyone on the first date."

That was enough to make Castiel cough nervously. "Uh, what?" he squeaked in response.

Dean smirked, "Where to?"

Cas could feel his throat dry up. He swallowed down some saliva in his mouth. It didn't help at all. It still felt like sandpaper. He had to say it though. There was nothing remotely sexual about it. _Dean made it sexual though_. Castiel fought against the voice in his head for a few more seconds until he finally managed to say, "My room."


	5. Dreaming

"Dean?"

Dean rolled over so he could look at Castiel, "Yeah?"

"If there was one person in the world that I would want to be trapped here with," Castiel cleared his throat, "It would be you."

Dean didn't say anything. That's because he didn't need to say anything. He understood what Castiel was saying. He put his calloused hand on Castiel's cheek. His thumb said everything as it rubbed lightly against Cas' cheek bone.

And then, Castiel watched as Dean shifted closer to him. Dean's bare leg rubbed against him. _God_. He gasped as Dean's nose brushed against his. Cas' eyes fluttered closed, getting caught up in the moment. Dean Winchester was going to kiss him. This is what he had been waiting for since the moment they had met.

* * *

 

Castiel bolted upright. He ran his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. _Well, that was some dream._ He felt He exhaled and picked his phone up from his nightstand. He had one new message from his father. He wouldn't be home until late. 

_Great. How the hell are we supposed to get out of this house?_

He turned his cell phone over in his hands as he thought about it. Should he tell his father that they were trapped? What could he really do? It's not like he would drop his church duties to come home. Besides, Cas was certain they would survive until he got home.

Cas put his bare feet against the sunbathed carpeting of his floor. He chuckled as he looked down.

Next to his foot was Dean Winchester, curled up under a blanket.

"Cas?" Dean mumbled. He lifted his hand to block out the sunlight, "What time is it?"

"Ten."

"Ten?!" Dean jumped upright, "Shit, are you kidding me?"

"No?"

"Son of a bitch! I am so late for my shift." He flipped the blanket off his body, exposing his bare chest to Castiel.

Castiel looked away and felt the heat from the sun warming up his cheeks. Or maybe he was blushing? He frowned as Dean picked up his shirt and quickly covered his torso.

"We can't get out though. We're still trapped."

Dean stopped. He held his sweatpants in one hand.

"Oh," Dean said as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket of his pants. He quickly turned it on and dialed a number. He put the phone to his face and bounced back and forth on his feet. He tried to put his pants on at the same time.

"Bobby? Hey, can you bring a chainsaw to," Dean looked over at Cas, "Uh, what's the address?"

"263 North Pine."

Dean repeated the address into the phone, "Alright, thanks. Yes. Okay, yes. Bye."

Dean ended the call and flopped his phone onto the bed.

"Bobby is comin' over in ten minutes. He's going to get us out of here. And Cas?"

Cas glanced up from the carpeting, "Dean?"

Dean swallowed and looked down at his toes, "We're still on for lessons tonight, right?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, I guess? Are you sure that the pool is even open? After the storm?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. It doesn't matter if it's open to everyone. I still have to go clean it out and get it back to working order. It's my job."

"O-okay," Castiel nodded as he scratched his stomach. He slid past Dean and opened the door to his room. He took a left turn out of the room and headed down the hall to Gabriel's room. He paused outside the closed door before knocking twice.

No one responded.

Cas opened the door. Gabriel and Sam weren't in the room.

 _Weird._ He shook his head as he pulled the door shut and walked back down the hallway. Instead of heading towards his room, he took a left and walked down the stairs. As soon as he turned the corner and walked into the kitchen, his senses were overloaded. He smelled at least three different types of food, saw a chaotic pile of dishes in the sink, heard loud rap music mixed with pop music, and he could taste something crispy that Gabriel just shoved into his mouth.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," Gabriel smirked as he handed his brother a mug of coffee.

Castiel chewed the toast and swallowed it before responding.

"Hi."

"Bobby just called. He's here," Sam said as he jumped up from the table and ran out of the kitchen. Jo and Gabriel followed behind him.

And Castiel just wasn't feeling like watching Bobby cut the trees out of the way. It make him a little upset, actually. There would be no reason to have Dean under the same roof. He sighed as he shuffled over to the sink. Oh well, he thought, at least I can see him at the pool whenever I want to. He smiled softly as he brought his coffee mug to his lips and inhaled the steam through his nose. He closed his eyes and basked in pure silence of the kitchen.

"Cas?"

Castiel jumped a mile, dropping the coffee mug in his hands into the sink. It smashed.

"Bit jumpy, huh?" Gabriel said as he peeked over Castiel's shoulder, "Well. That's broken."

"Shut up."

"What crawled up your ass and died, bro?"

"Nothing. So did everyone leave?"

"Yup. It's just you and little old me."

Castiel raised his brow at Gabriel. Sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder how he was even related to such an odd guy. Was Gabriel hatched? Cas shook his head as he walked away from the sink and out of the kitchen.

"Aren't you going to clean this up?"

Castiel didn't respond as he bolted up the stairs.

* * *

The pool didn't open again for a week. But, when it was finally open, Castiel and Gabriel were right back at it.

"So, nothing happened between you guys?"

 _If only_. Castiel blushed, "No." He stretched his legs out on the wooden lounge chair.

"That's weird. You'd think he would have talked to you in the past week."

Castiel shrugged. He wasn't overly concerned. Dean probably had his hands full with cleaning up the pool... right? Castiel watched as a dark haired girl pranced by him and right up to the man in question. He groaned as he watched a smile rip across Dean's face. Okay, so maybe he wasn't just cleaning the pool.

"What the hell?" Gabriel whispered.

The brunette grabbed Dean by his red lifeguard shirt and pulled him towards her. That was when Castiel looked away. God, it was bad enough watching people kiss in public, but Dean and some girl? He bit his lip and went back to staring at his open book.

"Hey," a sickly sweet voice said, "Castiel, right?"

Castiel slapped his book closed and let it drop onto his lap. He glanced up at the brunette and then to Dean.

"Hi, uh, I'm Lisa Braeden. I don't think we've met. I'm Dean's girlfriend."

Castiel nodded before sticking out his hand to her, "Castiel Novak. Nice to put a face to your name. Dean never stops talking about you."

"Is that right?" she beamed as she glanced over at Dean, "Aw, Dean. So sweet."

Dean cleared his throat as he shifted on his feet. Clearly, that made him uncomfortable. Cas didn't push it any further though. Why would he? As much as he would like to make Dean squirm, it wouldn't be worth it. First off, it would be fairly obvious to any semi-intelligent being that he was trying to illicit a reaction from Dean. Secondly, he didn't want to completely throw his friendship with Dean into the dumpster.

"Lisa, can I have a minute to talk to Cas?"

"Sure, sure," she said, pecking him on the cheek before walking away.

"Are we still on for tonight?" Dean asked.

Castiel shrugged and pick up his book, "I guess."

"Look, Castiel... I..."

"Right, well, I need to get back to reading my book," Castiel said as he waved his book at Dean.

He noticed Dean's shoulders deflate.

"Yeah. Okay."


	6. Learning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeee leave comments and stuff! Thanks for reading!

“What I want you to do is lean back and let your head float on top of the water.”  
  
Castiel swallowed roughly, “I don’t think I can do this, Dean.” He leaned back into the warm water. He kept his feet on the floor of the pool.  
  
“You can do this. Trust me, Castiel. Take your feet off the bottom.”  
  
Did Castiel trust Dean? He did. Dean saved him once and he would probably save him again. Castiel let his feet slip off the bottom of the pool. But, something went wrong! Castiel could feel water rushing into his ears. He flailed his arms as he tried to push himself up.  
  
"I have you. Stop moving for a second."  
  
He could feel Dean’s warm hand on his lower back, holding him up in the water. He instantly relaxed. He could feel tingles radiating from his bare back. It was something else entirely.  
  
"Okay, now, just lay flat, like a board. Don't worry. I won't move my hand."  
  
Castiel straightened his body out He sighed and spread his arms and legs out.  
  
"There you go. That's how you float," Dean said, "Want to try it without my hand?"  
  
"N-no," Castiel said. He could have tried it without Dean's hand but it just felt too good. It almost felt like it was supposed to be there.  
  
Dean chuckled for a second, “Okay.”  
  
The bright white stars dotted the dark night sky. Wow. He forgot how beautiful the stars were. It’s not like he spent time outside every night and looked at them. Maybe it was time to take out his telescope again. He couldn’t even remember the last time he used it.  
  
And then, he noticed that Dean’s hands were in his vision.  
  
He was floating. No hands. He couldn’t help but reflect Dean’s smile.

"Boom! That's what I'm talking about!" Dean laughed as he waved his hands in the air. Castiel laughed as he watched Dean goof around. He put his feet back on the floor of the pool and got himself standing up again.

"Awesome." Dean said.

Castiel stared into the mossy green warmth of Dean's eyes. He was captivated. He could see the happiness and excitement in Dean's eyes, but at the same time, he felt there was something much deeper there. There was something much darker. He became far too aware that he was leaning into Dean... and Dean was leaning right back into him. That's when Castiel made the decision - he closed the distance between their lips. He could taste the chlorine of the pool on Dean's lips. It wasn't exactly pleasant but, that wasn't what made him so happy. He could feel Dean's soft lips just brisking by his.

He gasped as he pulled away and covered his own mouth with his hand. What the hell did he just do? Kiss a straight guy with a girlfriend? God, what was _wrong_ with him? How could he have been so idiotic? Why would he do that?

Dean pulled Castiel's hand down and away from his face. Castiel yelped in surprise as Dean kissed him again. He could feel Dean's calloused fingers pull at his hair. Dean's tongue flicked across his lips and Castiel groaned, letting Dean's tongue inside. Castiel knew it was wrong but, for some reason, it felt so  _good_. Everything felt  _right_.

Then, all of a sudden, Dean stopped and pulled away.

"What the hell was that?" Dean shouted at Castiel, "I'm not gay, man!" he shoved Cas' shoulders away from him.

Castiel scrunched his eyebrows together. Well, if Dean could just let out his emotions, maybe things wouldn't get any worse? Castiel opened his mouth and before he could get a word out, Dean was screaming at him again. He was right up in his face.

"I work on my freaking car, I shoot guns with Bobby, I lift weights, I drink beer, and I fuck my god damn girlfriend almost every night. I, Dean Winchester, am not a faggot," he said. He shook Castiel by his shoulders.

What in God's name happened?

"Dean, calm down," Castiel said, lightly pushing Dean's hand off his shoulders.

"Stop touching me!" Dean shouted.

Castiel couldn't duck out of the way as Dean's fist flew towards his face. He groaned as he put his hand over his eye. That hurt. He bolted towards the steps of the pool. Dean was definitely on a rampage. He ran out of the pool and grabbed his bag. And, he ran into the parking lot, into the safety of his dad's Prius. He turned on the car and drove out of the parking lot as fast as he could.

And, the second he pulled into the driveway of his house, he shut the car off and put his head against the steering wheel. He sobbed. How was he going to explain _this?_

* * *

Dean took another swig out of the bottle of cheap whiskey. Fuck. He stumbled over his own feet as he made his way towards Jo's house. He needed to talk to Ash and he would definitely be at the biggest party of the year. He would have all the answers. He would know why whenever Dean closed his eyes, he would see a set of bright blue ones staring back at him.  
  
Am I _gay_? He gulped down a wave of nausea. No, he was Dean Winchester... Dean Winchester liked every woman under the sun. He had his smoking hot girlfriend, Lisa. He loved her to pieces, right?

But what if someone found out about the kiss? He would never hear the end of it. It was social suicide. The world sloshed back and forth in his vision. The door to Ash's house was open already. He stumbled inside.  
  
 _Why did he kiss me?_

He searched the crowded room for Ash. He couldn't see the guy though. How hard would it be to spot a kid with a mullet? Those things went out of style ages ago. 

What if Lisa found out? Their relationship was already on the rocks since she came back from Colorado, but damn, if she caught wind of this, it would be the end of the road. Dammit. 

"Dean-o? You okay there, bud?"  
  
Dean's eyebrows knit together. Gabriel had appeared in his blurred vision.

"Where's Ash?"

"He's not here. He ducked out a while ago. What are you doing here?" he said.

"Party," he mumbled as he lifted the bottle to his lips.  
  
The bottle disappeared out of his hands before he could drink from it. He looked down into his hand and it was gone. _Where the hell did the bottle go?_  
  
"Dude, not cool."

Gabriel raised his brow, "Okay, well, someone had far too much to drink. Come on, let's get you home to Sam."

"No," Dean said, "No, I need Ash, okay? I just gotta talk to him."

"Come on," he said as he wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder.

Dean gave in. Whether it was from sheer exhaustion or drunkenness, he really couldn't tell. He let Gabriel lead him out of the party.

* * *

 

Dean stirred his coffee for the fiftieth time that morning. Everything was exactly the same as yesterday. Even the stupid hangover. He twitched his nose back and forth. He shook his head. _What the hell had he done?_ He went John Winchester on Castiel and for what? A stupid kiss?

"Dean?"

He looked up from his mug of coffee to see Sam.

"What?"

Sam glared, "Nothing. Nothing at all." He watched as Sam walked over to the coffee machine and turned it on.

Dean stood up from the table. He grabbed the newspaper and his mug of coffee. It was time to go to work. That's what he knew he should do. He should go to work. He should just act like last night didn't happen. But, it's not like Castiel could forget last night, not with that big shiner on his eye. Sam's motherly stare bore into his soul.

"Seriously, what now?"

Sam raised his brow, "What happened?"

"What do you mean, what happened?"

"Dean... last night?"

"What about it?" he said as he added more coffee to his almost overflowing mug.

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. "Gabriel and I had to carry you into the house? Does any of that ring any bells? Or maybe how you couldn't shut up about Castiel?"

Dean put the glass coffee carafe back into the machine before he shifted on his feet. It was almost like Sam knew about Castiel. Did he say anything about what happened at the pool while he was drunk?

"I have to go to work."

"Fine," Sam said.

Dean couldn't help but shake his head. Sam must have known something, but what? Dean wasn't exactly sure. He took his coffee mug and made his way out of the house.


	7. Finding My (Your) Way

Castiel pressed his face into his pillow. Damn, his eye hurt. He hadn't gotten up to look in a mirror yet but he could feel it. He pulled his eyes shut and let out a small groan.

"Castiel? Are you okay?" he heard someone pad into his room.

He didn't move and he didn't respond. He just sat there, inhaling and exhaling softly. He couldn't let anyone see what Dean did to him. If he stayed in bed all day, maybe he would be able to go undetected. Everyone could just forget about him. He needed to be alone in his misery. The one guy he liked openly rejected him and it hurt like hell. It felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart with a butter knife and twisted it around a hundred and ten times.

A warm hand touched his face. He jumped and turned to see who touched him. He slid his eyes open and stared at Gabriel.

"I'm - er - sick," he replied.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Right. That explains the shiner you've got that's the size of Texas."

"Uh. I got into a fight?" he offered.

Gabriel raised his brow, "So, you're sick _and_ you went out and picked a fight with someone? Cas, that sounds a little fishy to me. You've never been a good liar. Seriously, do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Gabriel nodded and moved away from his bed, "I'm going to buy some jeans. Did you need anything while I'm out?"

"No."

He left the room without saying another word.

Cas sighed as he rolled over. _Fuck Dean Winchester. What a dick. How could he?_ He picked up his cell phone, twirling it carelessly between his fingers. _He was the one that kissed me!_ He chucked his phone across the room at a pile of laundry. It landed with a thud.  _Dean didn't have to hide his face from the rest of the world. He could parade around with Lisa on his arm and act like nothing happened._ Cas groaned as he rolled over and slid out of his bed. He put his feet on the floor. He looked up from his sock covered feet to see his face in the mirror. 

His eye was the size of a damn softball. It was a disgusting shade of yellow by his eyebrow and his cheek bone. From there, the wound turned a dark and angry purple until there was no skin left. It was puffy and he could barely see out of it.

"Dean," he growled as he covered his face with his hands. It's not like he could go anywhere or see anyone. Great. That was just how he wanted to spend his summer - locked inside.

He shifted as he slid back under his covers. He couldn't go anywhere, so why bother getting up? He sighed as he closed his eyes and let a shiver rip through his body. Why was it so cold all of a sudden? His body jittered against his own will. His teeth rattled. He pulled his blanket up as high as he could, covering his head. It was getting harder to breathe. Every breath hurt. He let a few tears roll out of his eyes. It stung.

 _It hurt so badly._ He pulled his eyes closed, as tightly as he could.

_Just breathe in and out._

 

_5..._

 

_4..._

 

_3..._

 

_2..._

 

 _1._..

He slowly drifted out of consciousness as he repeated these numbers over and over again.

* * *

Castiel leaned back into the warm grass outside of the library. Two days of sobbing in his room over Dean Winchester turned out to be the best thing that happened to him all summer. Gabriel stopped forcing him to visit the pool.

Finally, he was free.

"Castiel?"

Sam Winchester loomed over Castiel.

"Hey, what's with the shiner?"

Castiel shrugged as he sat up. Sam plopped down on the lawn across from him. This wasn't exactly how Castiel planned on spending his day...

"It's nothing."

"Right," Sam nods before opening up his book, "What are you reading?"

Cas leaned over to his backpack and threw his copy of the Bible at Sam.

"Light reading."

Castiel laughed before taking back his Bible and shoving it into his backpack, "My dad has been putting it in my backpack ever since I came home with... yeah," he said, rather lamely.

Sam's eyebrows knit together. He opened his mouth, as if to offer something to Castiel, but instead, closed his mouth. He didn't say anything.

Castiel sighed.

"You know, you can tell me anything, right, Castiel?"

"I-" Castiel said, "I know."

"Does this have to do with my brother?"

"I don't want to talk about this. I came here to read my book in peace and quiet. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I will do that," Castiel said as he picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder.

"Castiel, wait."

He turned and walked about twenty feet before dropping his backpack by a larger tree. He slid his back against the bark of the tree as he let himself fall down to the ground. It hurt, but it make him feel a little better. Weird, he thought as he pulled out his book and began turning the pages.

And he read in silence, letting the warmth of the sun bathe his body.

He fell asleep.

* * *

Dean Winchester groaned as he looked at his alarm clock. 7:24 PM. He had slept through the whole day? He groaned as he sat up. He felt awful - not physically - but mentally. He stared at his reflection in his clock display. He could make out how messy his hair looked, glued with sweat to his head. His eyes were swollen.

He sat up and checked his cell phone.

 

**Benny: Winchester, you up? Party at mine. 9PM. Be there.**

 

Dean sighed as he turned his cell phone over in his hand. He needed to get out of this house. He bolted across the room and straight for the bathroom. He ran inside and shut the door closed.

He pulled his shirt over his head and peeled his boxers off his body. He sighed as he turned on the hot water and stepped into the warm stream.

He inhaled. _God, that feels good._

But, could he really fake like he was feeling good? Like he was okay? He would have to act as if he were unaffected by Castiel... unaffected by punching him.

Dean ran his fingers over his lips. He could imagine Castiel's lips against his once again. They were so soft. And that kiss? It was something he'd never felt before.

 _God. Castiel_. He could almost feel his hands running through Castiel's drenched hair. He could smell the chlorine from the pool.

"Cas," he groaned under the warmth of the water.

 _I'm not gay though._ His eyes ripped open. _God damn._ He picked up his shampoo bottle and squeezed some out into his hand. He scrubbed furiously at his hair. _Think of anything. Anything that doesn't have to do with those blue eyes._

He finished washing his hair and the rest of his body. He stepped out of the shower and toweled off.

He scratched at the scruff on his chin.  _Did Castiel like scruff? Did he like the feeling of beard burn after kissing guys for hours on end? Did Castiel kiss other guys?_

 _Fuck it._ He was too lazy to shave.

He sped through the rest of his routine and finally, about an hour later, he was ready. He left the house.

* * *

 

"I'm sooooooo glad you came with me, Cassieeeeeee," Jo smirked, placing a kiss softly on his cheek, "You're just, the best?"

Castiel laughed heartily. He'd never drank before but with Jo around, he felt safe. So, he went for it. He felt so warm and happy. For some reason, Jo's hair looked especially beautiful now, in the dull lighting of the apartment. Come to think of it, everything about Jo was beautiful in that moment. He... he wanted more, for some reason, out of that kiss.

"I think you missed my lips."

"Did I?" Jo smiled, "Here, let me fix that."

That's when Jo crushed her lips against Castiel's. It didn't feel like much of anything except warmth. It tasted like alcohol, cigarettes, and, in Cas' case, regret. He didn't want to be kissing Jo. He wanted to kiss Dean... but Dean, well, he wasn't here. He wasn't at Benny's. Jo swung her legs over Castiel's and slid effortlessly into his lap, never breaking the kiss. She gyrated her hips against his.

"What the fuck?"

Cas jumped and hit his head against the wall behind the couch.

He glanced up at a very agitated looking green eyed man. Oh, those beautiful green eyes. He missed them. He continued to stare. Dean looked older than usual and... more attractive. Was that even possible?

Jo squirmed on Castiel's lap. Castiel bit his lip, never letting his eyes leave Dean's.

"I can explain," Jo said.

"Don't," Dean said, "You two have just had way too much. Come on, let's get you two back home."

Jo slid off Castiel's lap and stood up, "I, uh, I need to use the bathroom."

"Make it quick, Joanna."

Jo wandered off into the crowd of the party.

Castiel jumped to his feet but, in his state of intoxication, lost his footing. He felt his body falling towards the glass table in the middle of the room.

Dean caught him though and pulled him upright. His hands slid slightly down Castiel's back and then they rested just around his hips.

"What's going on, Castiel?"

Castiel rubbed his hand against Dean's neck and migrated slowly towards his chin, "Fuck. You're gorgeous," Castiel said as he moved his thumb, brushing it gently against Dean's lower lip. He could feel Dean's fingers crushing into his skin. He didn't care. He pressed his lips against Dean's. It felt like the room was drained of oxygen. He gasped as he broke the kiss for a moment and then jumped back in.

He furiously kissed Dean. He felt like he was running out of air and this would be his last kiss ever. He had to make it count. His teeth hit against Dean's a few times as he kissed him with as much gusto as he could muster.

And then, it was over.

"Talk to me. How much have you had?"

"Not enough," he said as his hand slipped from Dean's chin and migrated down his chest. It moved and stopped right at the top of Dean's jeans. He could feel himself slipping away. His eyes were getting blurry. _What the hell is happening?_ He could barely keep them open.

Two hands gripped the sides of his face, "Castiel?" The room spun around him.

He shut his eyes, allowing the world around him collapse into complete and utter darkness.


	8. Lost Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back............ :) This chapter sat in my drafts for months and months (half finished, of course) and... well... here it is. Hopefully, it was worth the wait!

Castiel felt his stomach lurch. His eyes bubbled open. _Where am I?_ He glanced down at the floor and noticed a large bucket. 

"How are you feeling?"

He jumped and his stomach jumped with him. He could feel liquid sloshing around in his belly. _Not feeling so well... good thing there's a bucket there._ His fingers clenched his sides and he looked up in front of him to see Jo, shoving the bucket under his face. He grabbed the bucket by the sides.

"Awful."

"Probably the gallon of Rubinoff you two drank," he heard Dean's voice before he saw him enter the room, "What the hell were you thinking? How could you be so irresponsible? You didn't make any plans as to how you'd be getting home and you clearly weren't prepared to-"

Castiel heaved the contents of his stomach into the bucket.

"Gross," Jo commented.

"Why were you two even there in the first place?" Dean rambled, "How do you know Benny?"

Castiel's fingers gripped the bucket tighter. Why did it matter how they knew Benny? His stomach growled at him. He felt so much better after throwing up but the burn in his throat was absolutely disgusting.

"Water," Castiel said, looking up from the mess in the bucket to Dean's face. He noticed Dean's expression soften for a few seconds until he turned and walked out of the room.

"Jesus... Cas, what is going on between you and Dean?"

Cas rolled his eyes, "Don't swear like that, Jo." _Am I ready to tell her? That I kissed Dean once, got punched and then was stupid enough to kiss him again? Thankfully, Dean didn't punch me again but... Lord, how could I be so idiotic?_

She sighed, "You're avoiding the question."

He glanced at the door. Dean wasn't coming back too quickly, right? Castiel placed the bucket on the ground and leaned over to Jo.

"You promise not to say a word?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die."

Castiel leaned in and whispered the words he feared the most to admit out loud.

"I kissed Dean. Twice."

Just then, he backed away from Jo, who looked completely dumbfounded. In walked Dean, carrying a glass of water and a wrapped tooth brush with some toothpaste.

"Here," he dropped the tooth brush and tooth paste into Cas' lap before extending the glass of water to him.

"Now, you're both going to explain to me why you were so fucking careless and stupid last night. What if I wasn't at Benny's?"

"That's what we were hoping for," Jo jumped in, "We wanted our alone time."

"You wanted alone time? Why?"

Jo raised her brow, "Dean... Castiel and I are dating."

Suddenly, the entire room felt like it was ice cold. _What was she doing?_ Jo was telling a flat out lie... but why?

"Uh, er..." Dean said as he backed away from Castiel, "Oh."

"Yeah," Jo said quietly, "We-"

"I didn't want to tell you," Castiel interrupted. "Jo wanted to tell you as soon as we decided to start dating but... I..."

Dean turned away, "You don't have to explain yourselves to me. I'm glad you're happy."

"Maybe we should go on a double date sometime," Jo added lamely.

Castiel cleared his throat, "I'm going to brush my teeth now." He rose from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, gently shutting the door behind him.

* * *

 Three days had passed since the announcement of Castiel and Jo's relationship. And, Sam still couldn't put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Castiel was clearly not interested in Jo. He'd never seen them do more than talk and laugh with each other. To make things even weirder, Jo had a crush on Ash, last Sam had checked. How were those two in a relationship with each other?

The house had been silent ever since their departure. It gave Sam a lot of time to ponder things.

He sat cross legged on his bed, deep in thought. His fingers ran over the freshly torn envelope with his name on it. Over the years, many of his school teachers had quietly mentioned getting his GED and continuing on to higher education. But, at this rate, it wasn't really worth it. He would be entering into his senior year. He wanted to go to college and just put as much distance between himself and his father as he could.

But, was it worth potentially losing every friend he had?

He sighed and glanced over the words of the acceptance letter from Stanford. They had accepted him already and he had enough money saved up... Maybe he would just pack up and leave? Not say a word? In the middle of the night?

He shoved the letter under his pillow and laid back.

Stanford was his ticket out of here. He inhaled and exhaled, enjoying the silence around him.

The house was quiet... way too quiet. Dean had definitely come home from work. He would normally be blasting music at this point and lifting weights. 

_Maybe something is wrong?_

He heard a loud thump.  _Did Dean fall over or something?_

That's when he heard a high pitched moan followed by more consistent and rhythmic thumping. This is awkward, he thought as he jumped off his bed. He certainly didn't want to listen to that soundtrack for the rest of his evening. He grabbed his phone, his keys, and his wallet off his nightstand. He needed to go out somewhere.

Sam made his way from his room, down the stairs, and out of the front door of the house.

The sun was low in the sky, just barely visible above the tree line.

Where would he go? Unfortunately, the library was closed. He stopped walking and just stood in the middle of the driveway, bouncing his keys in his hand.

What would he do?

He slipped his keys into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts.

His thumb paused, hovering over her name. _Jess_. He squeezed his phone in his hands. He shouldn't call her phone again. How many voicemail messages had he left? How many more would he have to leave? How long would it take him to realize that Jess wasn't ever coming back? She was dead. She had been for over two years.

Even so, he had still kept her cell phone number in his phone.

He always called her when he had news. It was almost irrational. He knew she would never get his messages, and yet, he still felt obligated to leave them. She would have wanted to hear about his acceptance to Stanford. He pressed the call button and put the phone to his face. He wasn't expecting anyone to pick up.

After the third ring, someone picked up.

"Hello?"

He inhaled sharply. The number must have been reassigned. His throat tightened.

"Is anyone there?" the deep male voice said.

Sam couldn't respond. He would start to cry if he did.

He ended the call.

He could feel his eyes watering. Two years, four days, and three hours. That's how long it had been since he'd heard she was dead.

He couldn't even listen to her voice anymore. His finger scrolled down under her contact. There was no point in keeping her number anymore. He hit the delete button.

He started walking. He wasn't sure where he was going but, wherever he ended up, it wouldn't matter. He needed to lose himself. He scrolled down into his contacts again. He pressed the call button and waited patiently.

"Hello Sam," Castiel responded.

"How do you feel about getting really drunk right now?"

* * *

 


	9. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So. This chapter is a bit longer than usual and stays with Dean for almost the entire time. :) Thanks so much for reading.

Dean nuzzled further into Lisa's brown hair. It tickled as it brushed against his nose. Her hair was so soft. He inhaled deeply. Lisa's hair always smelled like vanilla. It reminded him of being comfortable and at home.

But, for once, he oddly didn't feel at home as he cuddled with her.

Something didn't feel right about it.

Ever since he shared that kiss with Castiel... Nothing felt right with Lisa. Their relationship had lost that unique spark that had kept him interested for almost two years.

He had seen himself settling down with her in a few years. He would hold her hand through everything and be the husband that would spend his weekends fixing up all the issues around the house. He'd take their children to the park on Sunday mornings and hang out with other parents. He'd treat his children and his wife like they were royalty - going out for ice cream after dinner at least once a week. Then, later in life, he would sit on the porch with her on hot summer nights when they retired. He'd spend every day, loving her, even if she forgot who he was. He would fall asleep next to her one night and, the next morning, he wouldn't wake up.

**He saw the rest of his life with this woman.**

But... now? He wasn't sure that it was what he wanted anymore. He wasn't sure if he wanted Lisa anymore.

That vision of the future had become blurred.

**Did he want to stay with Lisa?**

He delicately stroked her hair and pulled it away from her face. He worshiped the ground she walked on. She had been the best thing to ever happen to him -- without a doubt. Their dates were always so romantic and fulfilling. And the sex? Well, that was out of this world.

Lisa Braeden gave him everything he could ask for and more.

**So, why was he even thinking of leaving her?**

He unwrapped his arms from Lisa's body and rolled away from her. He now faced the wall.

Castiel.

Just his name was enough to make Dean shiver. But why? He had never thought he could ever have... feelings for another guy. Is that what was happening? Cas wasn't just a friend, was he? He was different. He wasn't like Benny or Ash or any of his other friends.

Dean rubbed his eyes. He needed to figure this out. He thought that having a great night with Lisa would get rid of the doubts he had but, if anything, his doubt had only intensified.

"Fuck," he said as he shook his head. Of course, it would never be that easy.

He checked his phone. 7:14. His alarm would go off in one minute. Normally, he would wait that entire minute, savoring every last second with Lisa. Today, he was itching to get out of bed and head to work. For some reason, he just needed to get out of bed. He felt so... uncomfortable.

He turned off his alarm on his phone before it went off and slid out of bed.

He shuffled to his bathroom and quietly closed the door. Maybe Castiel would take him up on another swimming lesson... He flipped on the water for the shower and quickly washed his body and his hair.

He then took the time to carefully trim his facial hair. He combed through his hair and parted it on the side of his head. He wanted to look good today. He slipped on his board shorts and a white t-shirt with his usual black sandals before he exited the bathroom. As he made his way out, he noticed Lisa, sitting up in his bed.

"Sorry babe, I gotta head to work," he said as he gently kissed her forehead, "Take your time, okay?"

"I love you," she said.

For once in their relationship, Dean felt a lump form in his throat. He had feelings for her, yes, but was it love? He couldn't say it back to her. He couldn't lie to her because he cared so fiercely about her. Instead, he nodded, acknowledging what she said, and made his way to his door. He picked up his backpack on the way out.

"See you later," he said as he left the room.

He closed the door behind him and padded down the hallway to the stairs. He noticed that the door to Sam's room was open. He peeked inside. Sam wasn't in there. Dean rolled his eyes. When would the kid ever learn to tell someone that he wouldn't be home?

Dean closed Sam's bedroom door before he turned and headed down the stairs.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs, he could see why Sam didn't want to be home right now.

_Dad was home from his hunting trip._

John Winchester lay on the floor, with his head buried in the carpet. In one hand, he had one of his hunting knives in one hand. In the other, he held a bottle of drained whiskey. The man was a mess. Always had been and always would be. Dean couldn't remember the last time he had seen his father without alcohol in hand. The only good thing about John's drinking habits were that he never became violent towards Dean or Sam - he'd always take it out on furniture or go on another hunting trip. The man fiercely loved his children. He tried his best for them when they were younger. When they became older, the pressure of it all just got to him. It was... sad. His father would never be the same man again.

Sometimes, Dean hoped he wouldn't come back from one of his "hunting trips". He was such a burden on the family finances. He hadn't been employed in over three years and he couldn't find a job. No one would hire the town drunk. The checks came in from grandma and grandpa every month but Sam and Dean made sure to forget to tell John about those. Dean still had to pick up the slack and take on jobs. His current job paid enough that he didn't have to work two jobs.

Dean finally realized something. John was just like a determined mosquito - no matter how many times he would leave, he would always turn up... eventually.

Dean used his sandal to move the knife out of his father's hands. He picked it up and placed it on the counter in the kitchen. John would find that knife anywhere Dean hid it. He grew bored of playing that game a long time ago.

He shuffled awkwardly back towards his father and made his way out the door.

_Fuck, why is my whole world collapsing around me? Why today?_

He walked slowly towards the driveway. Thoughts were swirling in his head. It was too damn early to be thinking about all this junk. He effortlessly unlocked the impala and slid into the driver's seat.

The only good thing about being John's son, at this point, was the damn car he got to drive.

He slid his Oakley's onto his face. Another sunny day.

"Good morning, baby," Dean said as he lightly stroked the steering wheel. He pushed the keys into the ignition and the car roared to life. With that, he was on his way to work. He pulled out of the driveway and headed for the Lawrence Public Swimming Pool.

Lawrence was pretty quiet around 7:20. In the summertime, most people weren't awake until about 8 or so.

"Without love, where would you be now," Dean sang along to the Doobie Brothers as he slowed down to turn into the parking lot. Of course, no one was there yet. The pool didn't open until 8.

Dean parked his car in the corner of the lot. He wondered how many people would show up today. He assumed that since it was a nice day, there would be a lot of people crowding the pool. He grabbed his backpack and made his way to the pool. He unlocked the front gate and went inside. He was feeling somewhat invigorated by the song he just listened to.

He needed some more music. He pulled out the old boombox from behind the lifeguard stand and turned it on. He fished around in his backpack and pulled out an old tape. He flipped it over in his hands a few time before he put it into the boombox. For once in his life, he didn't care if the other teenagers at the pool wanted to listen to his music. They would be listening to it.

Creedence Cleawater Revival's Bad Moon Rising started playing and Dean couldn't help but smile. It would be a good day. He would make sure.

He went about his morning routine with a huge smile on his face - he skimmed all the leaves out of the pool, checked the filter, dumped in some more chemicals, and then he was finally ready to start letting people in.

He opened the gate to the pool and the crowd started to rush in. Dean couldn't care less at that point if he figured out what was happening in his personal life. What mattered right now what that he had a job to do.

"No splashing each other in the freakin' pool," Dean shouted at the two boys in the water.

He smiled. It felt good to be at work.

That was until he laid eyes on Castiel - his black hair was a complete mess on the top of his head. It was almost like he didn't get any sleep and just rolled around all night to come to the pool. Dean winced at the black eye he was still sporting. That was his fault. He still hadn't apologized for it. Should he apologize? He shook his head.

**Why was he so conflicted lately?**

**_God, why was life so confusing?_ **

Castiel was such a distraction.

Dean's eyes followed Castiel, Jo, and an awkwardly thin blonde guy. The group found a spot in the far corner of the pool deck. Dean groaned as he watched Castiel bend over to dig through his backpack. The guy had a great ass. Dean couldn't help but stare... Then, Castiel straightened out and put his arm around Jo's shoulder. He leaned closer to Jo, almost as if he would kiss her.

Not on his watch. Dean blew his whistle.

Everyone stopped.

"No PDA on the pool deck," he shouted before turning around and walking towards the lifeguard chair. Okay, so that wasn't really a rule, but still... There was only so much that Dean could witness. He turned up the music on the boombox.

So, he stood there, with his arms crossed, looking over the pool.

"Fuck," he swore, "Just. Fuck."

"Now, what's got my best friend swearing like this before noon?" he heard.

"Benny," Dean smiled, "Dude, I am so glad to see you."

"Same, brother," Benny said, "What's up? I haven't seen you at all lately."

He shrugged, "Nothing."

"Why do I have the feeling that you're lying to me? Come on, tell me what's going on. This isn't like you to be so... moody."

"It's a long story, man."

"Drinks after your shift?"

Dean nodded, "Sure."

* * *

Sam Winchester groaned as he rolled over in his bed. _What time was it?_ He groaned as he collided with a warm body. What the hell? He opened his eyes and he was staring into a set of dark brown eyes.

"Hey Sam."

He screamed.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam said as he pushed away from Gabriel.

"Woah, woah, calm down. Last I checked, you were the one who came over here and begged for this," Gabriel said with a little smirk. "I understand it though. I'm pretty hard to resist."

And that's when Sam remembered. He went to the liquor store and drank almost an entire bottle of whiskey. He was so drunk and he stumbled here. He licked Cas' face when he answered the door and kissed Gabriel on the lips. _Where the hell did that come from?_

"Look," Sam said, "I was really drunk last night and I'm not..."

"I know," Gabriel said.

"Then why did you-"

"Because I was being funny. You wouldn't let me sleep on the couch or on the floor. So, I slept right here," Gabriel gestured to the bed. He shifted slightly as he pushed his long hair out of his eyes.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Uh," Sam felt his cheeks warm up, "Uh. This is awkward. I should," Sam glanced down and noticed the strong and warm hand holding his hips. He felt warmth seeping into his sides. It did feel nice to have someone touching him...

"Sam. I won't tell anyone and we'll forget that anything ever happened," Gabriel said before releasing Sam. "You're always welcome here. No questions asked."

"Thanks."

Gabriel smirked, "You're welcome."

* * *

 


	10. Hot Blooded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance for the "ending"

"So, there's a party tonight at Balthazar's, _boyfriend_ ," Jo said as she began digging through Castiel's closet. "Rumor has it that it'll be the biggest party of the year. And, this time, we're not going to get completely wasted. Because I'm going to break up with you."

Cas rolled his eyes, "Thank God."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, nothing," Castiel said as he put down the book he was reading to look at her.

"So, as I was saying, we're going to break up and you have to look absolutely irresistible. None of these clothes are going to cut it. Or... maybe..." she continued to flip through his clothing until she found what she was looking for. A white and red plaid shirt with small touches of gray.

"So you're going to wear this shirt because it'll make your eyes pop..." she said as she put it on his bed. She quickly went back to the closet and found a pair of dark skinny jeans. She also managed to find a thin black tie.

"This is it," she said.

He glanced at the outfit.

"I don't know."

"Try it on," she said as she shuffled out of the room.

Castiel looked down at the outfit she had laid out and quickly changed into it. He glanced at himself in the mirror. It wasn't a bad outfit. It wasn't something he would normally wear. He preferred to stick to comfortable clothing - hoodies and t-shirts - nothing that really required much finesse. He ruffled his hair before opening up the door and shrugging at her.

"I look weird."

"No," Jo said, "You look good. This is going to work. Do you have any hair gel?"

He raised his brow at her, "No?"

"You're impossible. Gabriel probably has some," she said as she wandered out of his room.

He shook his head side to side as he heaved out a heavy sigh. This was ridiculous. Why did it even matter what he wore to the party? It really wouldn't make Dean suddenly realize that Castiel was interested in him. I mean, if anything, it was already pretty damn obvious. He should just give up on Dean. He frowned. What about dating Balthazar? He wasn't so terrible, Castiel thought. Another bonus was that Balthazar was already out as gay. It wasn't like Castiel really even had to do much to convince Balthazar that they'd be a great match.

It might just be a better idea to forget Dean and set his sights elsewhere.

Castiel sat down on his bed and grabbed his cell phone from his nightstand.

He had one new text.

**You going to B's party tonight? -Sam**

Castiel typed back.

_Yes. Jo and I will be there._

**Let me call you. -Sam  
**

And then, ten seconds later, Castiel's phone buzzed in his hand.

"Hello Sam."

"Castiel! Hey. Did you and Jo want to get dinner together and then head to the party?"

"Uh, let me ask her," Castiel said as he stood up and walked over to his door. He peeked outside of his door frame and noticed that Jo was nowhere to be seen.

He paused and then said, "Uh, I don't know where she is."

"I thought she was with you? Well, that's what Dean told me... before he threw a hissy fit and left."

"Uh," Castiel paused. Why did Dean know that?

Then, Jo popped her head out of the bathroom and walked towards Castiel. She waved the hair gel in front of him, "Let's tame that beast."

"Did you want to get dinner with Sam?"

"Of course."

"Okay," Castiel said and then repeated it into the phone.

"Tell him we'll be there in ten minutes," Jo said.

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later, the three of them sat at the Roadhouse. Sam turned the same leaf of his salad over and over again. Castiel put down his delicious burger and stared at Sam for a few moments. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Jo.

"Sam, what's going on?"

"What?" Sam said.

"Come on, you've barely touched your salad. You love salads," Jo pointed out, "There's something on your mind."

'It's Jess. Honestly, it's," Sam sighed as he put down his fork, "I thought I could never get over her. You know? That she was the only person I would ever love. I, uh, I don't know."

"So, there's someone else?"

Sam squirmed, "I mean, sort of but not really."

"How does that work?"

"Well, it's complicated," Sam said as he picked up his fork and viciously stabbed a piece of chicken, "I'm just glad we're going to this party tonight."

"Me too," Castiel added, "It'll be good to see Balthazar. It's been a while."

"Where was he?" Jo asked.

Castiel shrugged, "France. To visit his mother."

"Oh," Sam said, "Do you think Gabriel will go?"

Castiel furrowed his brow. Since when did Sam start caring about Gabriel?

"If there's one thing that Gabriel can't say no to... it's alcohol."

* * *

After filling themselves up with burgers and pie, the three made their way to the party. They stood outside the house. The loud music could be heard from outside.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Castiel said, pulling at his tie.

Before anyone else could say anything, Jo pushed the door open and walked inside, leaving Castiel and Sam in the dust. They didn't move to follow her into the loud and dark house.

Sam was the first one to move and walked into the dark party.

Castiel stayed where he was, taking it all in for a moment. Castiel could smell the mixture of perfumes and cologne, with sweat, and some other unidentified smell. He couldn't see much in the dark. He could hear the sounds of people talking over the music.

He sighed. What if Dean was inside? 

Who cares if Dean is inside, his brain argued, you're here to turn over a new leaf.

He inhaled and puffed his chest up. He took his first few steps into the house.

It was exactly the same as he had remembered it being. He walked down the long hallway and took a left, walking into the living room. He walked right into Jo, who glared at him. She whispered an apology before she cleared her throat.

"You were everything I thought I wanted." She said in a strong voice. "You were the perfect boyfriend. You treated me like I was the most important person in your life. You gave me everything I could ask for and more. But, Castiel, I can't do this anymore... because you're too good for me, Castiel. I have to let you go."

The music stopped and everyone was looking at the two of them.

"But Jo-"

"But nothing, Cas," she said, "We had a good run but, you know why it wasn't going to work out anyways?"

"Why?"

"Because I've fallen in love with someone else," she stated.

Just then, a thin looking girl with long blonde hair made her way over to Jo. Castiel watched as the girl put her hands on Jo's shoulder. Then, the girls began kissing each other. Castiel raised his brow. Since when did Jo like women? Then again, Castiel had never bothered to ask her about her sexual preferences. Then again, it didn't really matter to him if she liked men or women or whatever her current lover identified as... all that mattered was their friendship.

Just then, the music started up again and people began chatting. Castiel sighed and made his way towards the kitchen.

He had to at least look a little upset over the break up. He ruffled his hair a little as he pushed through the doorway.

"Castiel!" Balthazar squealed, "You made it."

"I did."

"Would you like a drink? I have wine, beers, margaritas, or maybe even a mixed drink for you?"

"Shots. Now," he said.

"The usual?"

Castiel nodded.

Balthazar turned away from Castiel to line up shot glasses. He put ten of them in a long line across the counter. He poured whiskey into all ten glasses.

And that's when Castiel started going - one after another. He needed to be drunk right now. He wasn't really sure why. He just... needed to be. He didn't stop until he finished the last shot.

"I think I'm starting to feel something," he grumbled as he leaned up against the counter.

"So, you and Jo, huh?" Balthazar said, elbowing him.

"Not anymore. She dumped me."

"Oh," Balthazar straightened, "She didn't seem like your type anyway."

Castiel raised his brow.

"Ah, I assume she didn't have the right equipment downstairs. Or, you know, maybe that's just my imagination running wild?" Balthazar leaned closer to Castiel, "Come on, Cassie, we're two birds of a feather. By the way, this," he said as he grabbed Cas' tie, "Is a very nice look on you."

"I, uh," Castiel frowned, "I just broke up with Jo, I'm, uh," he glanced at Balthazar's lips, "I'm not interested in starting something new just yet."

"Castiel?"

Castiel backed away from Balthazar and pulled his tie out of his grasp.

"Dean," Castiel said with relief. He reached out and put his right hand on Dean's shoulder. It helped to steady the other man, "How are you?"

Dean's pupils were huge and his eyes were red, like he had been crying for hours. Or, maybe, the dark red color of his henley just highlighted the redness that was normally found in his eyes.

"Lisa dumped me."

Castiel watched the brown haired man sway on his feet.

"Oh," Castiel's brow furrowed. That was a surprise. He put both hands on Dean's shoulders to help him stay steady.

He stared deep into Dean's green eyes as he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Dean's eyes crinkled as he formed a toothless smile, "It's fine. I just need to drink."

"Dean."

Dean groaned, "What, Cas?"

"You've had enough to drink."

"I'm still standing up, aren't I?' he said.

"Just barely," Cas said, "Come on, let's get out of here and get you home."

"I don't want to go home," Dean snapped.

"Stay here. Take the guest bedroom," Balthazar said, "Upstairs and the fifth door on the left."

Dean turned and made his way out of the crowded kitchen.

"Balth-"

"Go get him, tiger," Balthazar said with a wink.

Castiel sighed and loosened the tie around his neck. What was he getting himself into? He was falling further down the rabbit hole. His heart pounded wildly inside his chest. Was he supposed to just waltz up there and be a shoulder for Dean to cry on? Was he really going back into this cycle?

Yes.

You know why?

Because Castiel Novak was pretty damn sure that there was no way he could stop his feelings for Dean Winchester. It was too late.

He was falling in love.

So, he  swallowed his nerves and made his way out of the kitchen. As he jogged up the stairs, he loosened his tie further, to the point that it was almost undone. He ruffled his hair. Were the pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place?

He made his way down the hallway, counting the doors to hopefully clam him down a little bit.  
  


1...  
  


2...  
  


3...  
  


4...  
  


5...

 

He stared at the white door. This was the guest bedroom. What was hidden beyond the door? He put his hand on the doorknob and turned it...


End file.
